skull man, santa fe, 2006
most of the entries on my blog have been image driven. in other words, i have photographs i want to show people so i write something to support those pictures. occasionally, however, i come up with something i want to say before i actually have any supporting photographs. in that case i go out looking to make some pictures hoping i can somehow tie it all together. the subject of my spinal cord injury has caused this latter situation to come up much more frequently than it used to. the problem is, at this point, i can’t make any new photographs. so, i have to rely on images i have stored in my archives. the second issue is that many of the things i find myself wanting to say now are pretty abstract.
and, sometimes the inspiration to write comes in unusual ways. one morning shortly after coming home to indiana, i found myself struggling, as is so often the case in the wee hours, neither able to find the peace of true sleep, nor able to bring myself fully awake. those hours can be dangerous because trying to keep my thoughts in line is like coping with a pack of unruly cats, and chasing them can lead me down dark pathways i have no business exploring. on this particular morning however the cats were unusually cooperative. at the point where i managed to herd them all together, they sat docilely, looking at me with their cat eyes and said, “here is what you should write.” it went something like this:
come, friend pain into the morning gloaming
come, friend pain, settle behind my eyes
and tell me of where you’ve been roaming.
i’ve missed you, friend pain in the night while i slept
and surely in my tortured absence, how you must have wept.
for you and i are the best of mates, my dear friend pain,
so come and join me again in the early morning gloaming.
i know some people are going to look at this post and think it’s a bit dark. i won’t disagree with that, but i do want to make it clear that it isn’t necessarily a reflection of my condition or situation. i saw the little skull man statue one day while walking through a shop in santa fe, and i immediately thought he was interesting. i have no idea what he symbolizes, but you have to admit, he is very photogenic. the darkness of the image is mostly about how much i like this style of black and white photography. as for the verse, the darkness there is definitely connected with my situation – it’s just a question of how much. that’s something i’m still trying to understand for myself. and… i’m not even sure it’s decent poetry. regardless, both the image and the poem are dedicated to anyone who either is or has ever suffered chronic pain. you understand.
by will
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